Ren stole through the streets of Toshima, a thief in the night. Her long black hair whipped behind her as she dashed down shadowy alleyways. A handful of silver tags glinted in the darkness, tags could save her life--or end it.

A worn building in the distance, across the street. The hotel they were staying at. She was almost there; just a short distance to go.

"What do we have here?"

She halted. A man blocked the mouth of the alleyway, sealing off her escape to freedom. She stepped back in alarm.

"You're a pretty little thing." He licked his lips. A rusted metal pipe was at his side. "I don't think I've ever seen a girl here before. Why don't we have some fun?"

She swallowed hard, jamming the tags into the pocket of her sweater. Her heart began to race.

"No thanks," she said, in a voice of forced calm. "Besides, this is a safe zone. We can't fight here."

"It's late, and no one's around. Who will know?" The man stepped closer, swinging the pipe casually like a baseball bat. "But I'm not looking to fight you. How about something more... interesting?"

He took in the sight of her, his gaze lingering over her chest and legs. The look in his eyes confirmed Ren's suspicions.

"Shit..."

She zipped her jacket up all the way and pulled up her knee socks, wishing she'd worn something more than shorts.

The man lunged for her and she darted out of the way. White sneakers skidded on concrete. A hand suddenly clamped onto her hood and yanked her backwards. She felt the man's fingers on her stomach and screamed, kicking in a struggle to get free.

"What's this?" He pulled the tags out, staring at them gleefully. "Today's my lucky day! Heh heh heh."

He pulled her close and she gagged on the stench of his body odour, sweat among other things. His grip on her wrists was painfully tight. His facial hair grazed her cheek as he sniffed her hair. She squeezed her eyes shut.

BANG!

His grip loosened and she broke away, scrambling as far as her shaking legs would let her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the man's stiffening body on the floor, a bullet wedged between his eyes.

Eyes wide and gasping for air, she bolted out of the alley without looking back to see who had saved her.

(Ren enters the coffee shop.)

Caroline: Finally! We were waiting forever for you! Fashionably late as always, I see.

Ren: (Hugs her.) Sorry, it took me longer than usual to get ready today. I didn't get much sleep last night, due to the flood of homework Mr. H decided to unleash on me.

Caroline: Oh, man. I can never understand his ramblings on "enjoying the moment!" Anyway, we're seated back here today. Someone took our usual table.

(The two girls head to a booth near the back. Ren can see familiar dirty-blond spikes poking out from the red seats.)

Ren: Hey, Roxas!

Roxas: Ren!

(Caroline sits beside Roxas. Ren slides into the seat across from them.)

Ren: So what's the deal? Calling us out here so early.

Roxas: Early? Ren, it's 11AM. xD

Ren: Shush~ It's a weekend! you know how much I like sleeping in.

(Caroline informs the two that there's royalty in the building. A prince of sorts.)

Caroline: See the extra security? Something's definitely up. That's what I heard. So, Ren--go up and see if it's true. See if there's actually a hot princely barista under this very roof!

Ren: What, me?! Why not you?

Caroline: You know I'm shy, hehe...

(Ren looks at Roxas.)

Roxas: Hey, no way! I'm not going up there to check out some guy. You've gotta do it, Rennie.

Caroline: Besides, we already bought our drinks! (She gestures to the caramel macchiato and hot chocolate sitting on the table.) It'll look weird if we go up again!

Ren: (Sighs.) Fine! But you two owe me. Seriously.

A new start. A new beginning.

That's all I want.

I wanted to leave everything behind...


I walked home alone for the first time in ages. The summer sun seemed faint, not nearly as strong as before. Obviously because it was nearing the start of September, and summer was disappearing behind me like a sweet, forgotten dream.

Even the color of the leaves didn't seem half as bright as they did a couple days ago. I watched as they swayed on the trees, accompanied by a sunset backdrop. Gold, yellow and orange danced between the branches, striking me deeply, straight in the heart.

I hadn't realized I would miss him so much.


"Hey, Karelos. You don't seem well today. Are you feeling okay?"

Lunchtime. Roxas waved a spoon coated with pudding in front of my face. I pushed his hand to the side, not able to keep the smile from my face.

"I'm fine," I said hastily, then added, "You really shouldn't eat so much sugar, Roxas. I see you eating popsicles everyday. If you're not careful, you'll turn into a chubby boy."

"You mean, like Pence?" Roxas joked, and we both broke into a stifled fit of laughter.

"Roxas! That's mean. He's your friend," I giggled.

The blonde boy shrugged. "So? It's true! He's always eating Olette's popsicles..."

I looked down at the table, Roxas's voice echoing in the background. The parting, it still hurt. I felt it in my chest like a physical wound.

Beside me, Roxas's smile faded into a frown.

"I know something's wrong," he said softly. His deep blue eyes turned sad. "I wish you would tell me. I don't like seeing you this way..."

It pained me to see Roxas's concerned expression.

she sat up. the silk sheets were soft. so soft. there was only one person she knew who indulged in bedsheets like this, imported from some european country or other.

"versus?" she called his name, rubbing her head. funny. she could barely remember anything from the night before. the spots in her memory were filled with a dull ache and a sort of blankness.

he seemingly materialized out of nowhere, looking as handsome and put-together as he always did. that was something that always amazed her. his ability to look impeccable, no matter what the situation was or where they were. his features were graceful perfection. every spike of his dark hair was positioned with impossible precision. he was unbelievably attractive--and undeniably dangerous.

"you're finally awake," he said. "here."

he tossed her a handgun. she caught it in surprise.

"woah! why do i need this?" she stared at the metal. "wait, where are we?"

she gazed out the window and saw the painfully familiar city of toshima.

she twisted back to face him, eyes wide in shock and confusion.

"why are we here?!" she cried, panic rising in her system. she could barely keep it at arm's length.

"another mission," he said simply. "i decided to bring you with me."

"i don't remember agreeing to any of this," ren protested. then it clicked. "you drugged me. didn't you? that's why i don't remember anything!"

"none of that is important." he dismissed her accusations like they were nothing. and to him, they were just that. "you're here now, that's what matters."

her heart sped up as he joined her on the bed.

"i don't want to care..."

"marry me."

"what?"

she stared wide-eyed at him. his proposal. versus gazed right back, his blue eyes unfazed, a lazy expression settling over his calm face.

you know you're best friends when you ask them if cloud likes you and they reply,

(×÷·´¯`··.·×÷»Jꧧ頻»×÷·.·´¯`·×÷) says:
cloud: tifa is a pile of crap compared to you

:'D!!!!!!
tifa. TIFA! my gawd i may just faint from the happiness.

i'm sitting in bed wearing a pair of very uncomfortable shorts, being veryvery tired after getting no sleep since 6:30PM yesterday, and eating the hard candies j bought me as a gift from her trip to vegas last week. they're kinda hurting the roof of my mouth, but if they are from vegas, awesome. :) they're wrapped in multi-colored foils and stuffed into an eiffel tower-shaped glass jar.

i am soo tired.
the candies are all right, it is mainly the thought that counts, i was not expecting her to bring back anything for me it also came with a keychain that's from vegas with my name flashing on it, it's solar power

well i should definitely blog more perhaps about my neopets and how i am eventually going to be frozen for good but maybe another time.

~ren

i'm so bored.
wish i had someone to talk to right now.
but alas, it is only me, myself, and i.
with nothing to do.

my eyes are rather tired and dry but i am not that sleepy. in fact i am a tad hungry.
perhaps i will settle off to bed and play a little ds before sleep.

i don't know why but lately whenever i see certain things my stomach does a little jolt.
i'm so nervous and edgy nowadays, i wonder if it is because of my lack of sleep?
i should just withdraw... continue to withdraw into my mental shell and keep everyone at bay.

the topic of the day is: true friends.
i believe true friends would sacrifice anything for each other.
i would do that for those i cared about in a heartbeat. no questions asked.
and if that person really loved me and considered me a good friend...
they would appreciate it and would not force me to do something against my will or manipulate me.
in other words, it should be my choice to sacrifice something for them.

i have done much for my friends. and i have also been a poor friend.
right now there is no one i really feel connected with and consider to be a close, best friend.
j comes close, but we don't really connect on an emotional level because that is not her personality. i require spilling my guts out about my feelings. i like to talk about a lot of things, and a big part of that might be things about myself.
but i feel that sometimes j cannot handle my emotional output.
for instance, in the past i have called her crying and upset and she didn't really have a supportive convo with me. her tactic is to cheer me up by changing the topic or saying other things to make me feel better.

idk why i'm talking about that right now.
maybe i just need a sensitive soul, someone that is more similar to my personality and that would help me feel more like my life is complete. like in the past. even though i should take care not to be an idiot and say stupid things about myself. x)

gawd so i tried talking to my sister and she pissed me off by doing nothing.
she's such a little #@%#^$#!$%^#%@#!%! sometimes. goddammit.
no one in this family gets me and that's really sad. no one's a sensitive and emotional person like me and gawd that makes me feel so alienated.

just woke up. it's four.
i had a dream last night.

i wonder if alternate universes exist?
if, in another world parallel and linked to ours, things happen
but end in a different way depending on the choices made here.

maybe in an alternate universe, i'd still be friends with some
and maybe, in that same universe, i wouldn't be with others...
if i think this way, i don't feel so bad.
by letting friends go, i've allowed my alternate self to keep them.


i've decided to do some spiritual growth and maturing by withdrawing from other people. i want to find out more about myself and constantly being surrounded by people (the majority of i do not like very much) will hinder that. i think.


anyway, back to the topic of alternate universes:
the prospect is creepy, and somewhat frightening.
i wonder what my alternate self is like?
if it is truly possible for atoms to exist simultaneously in two places
then according to that, it could very well be possible

a world exactly like this one
only not.
heh, kinda like kura and noku.
the same to me, the same love.
only different. ha ha...
wait, maybe the love is not the same.
here i go again with the ramblings. :<


and if i bleed,
i'll bleed...
knowing you don't care
and if i sleep
just to dream of you
i'll wake without you there

isn't something missing?
isn't something...

even though i'm the sacrifice,
you won't try for me, not now
though i'd die to know you love me
i'm all alone

isn't something missing?
isn't someone missing me?

He grabbed her arm, spinning her around.

"Don't go."

She saw sadness in his crimson eyes. The eyes that were always so carefully sealed with a layer of coldness and indifference were now different. So different. So pitiful.

"Noctis." She spoke his name for the first time in an eternity. "I have to do this. Don't try to stop me."

She pulled free, meeting his gaze eye to eye.

"I knew all along what sort of future you wanted for me. I knew all along, yet I still followed you blindly. Because I was weak. Because I was lonely. Because I loved you. You weaved your spell over me, and the damage is done. It breaks my heart to know we can never be together. Maybe, if we both lived in a different world..."

Her tone grew wistful. She slowly shook her head.

"That was foolish of me to say. Good bye."

She turned and began to walk away. A sharp pain suddenly shot through her heart. She thought it was merely her emotions, the sadness she felt parting from him forever. It was only when a glimmer caught her eye that she glanced down and saw the blade piercing through her chest.

Noctis inhaled deeply behind her, gripping the handle of his falchion in a feverish delirium.

"If I can't have you, no one will. Not Strife, not anyone!"

She gasped, coughing up blood. She fell to her knees as he pulled the blade from her body. Shaking hands crept to the open hole in her chest. Blood flowed forth, soaking her palms in a torrent of red.

He towered over her, a blurry silhouette at best. Life slipping away, she gathered all the strength she could muster and looked up at him. Tears welled up in her gray eyes.

"N-Noctis... I--"

She closed her eyes and the tears fell, sliding down her cheeks and onto the floor as she collapsed, a broken doll. Her body trembled, a dark pool of blood growing beneath her like some sort of poison. With one last breath, she went still.

He fell to her side, his weapon tossed aside. The only person he ever loved was dead. He had killed her. There was no other path, except to end it for himself as well.

He raised a hand. Instantly his falchion returned to him.

Another world awaited.


Cloud's eyes were unreadable as he stood over the crumpled bodies. The authorities had already questioned him. He confirmed that it was indeed Noctis... and her. They left him there to grieve, to offer brief condolences before the bodies were moved away.

What no one knew was that beneath his calm exterior, his emotions were boiling. He could feel the rage churning in his stomach like a volcano, the sorrow choking up his throat as if he were drowning.

He resisted the urge to grab Noctis's body and beat the shit out of what was left of it. How could he do this? How could he? The most obscene curse words could not begin to describe the filth that was the corpse littering the floor.

He turned his attention to the slender, smaller form lying lifeless on the expensive carpeting. He knelt and took her hand, which had long gone cold with the chill of death.

He closed his eyes, all the sorrow erupting forth and wrecking his body with uncontrollable sobs.

She meant everything to him, but she left him not knowing that. With his only ray of sunshine snuffed out, he was back to before. All alone, in a world that he neither understood, nor ever wished to know.

He welcomed the hopelessness and despair.